HELPING AN ADULT SON OR DAUGHTER RECOVER FROM
MENTAL
HEALTH CHALLENGES
By Edie Mannion, M.F.T. of the Training & Education Center
at the Mental Health Association of Southeastern PA
& Dorothy Elliot of the PsychoEducational Program
at the Northeast Community Center for Mental Health / Mental Retardation
The challenges of parenting an adult son or daughter with mental health or substance abuse issues are complicated by their civil rights to make their own decisions. When an adult son’s or daughter’s judgment is impaired by a mental health or substance abuse problem, parents can feel fear and dread as they watch them make unhealthy, highly risky or destructive choices
Parents often feel anger and frustration when they find out they have little power to make their son or daughter get help. This can be very traumatic for everyone, leaving the family in a crisis.
If an adult is in treatment, many providers will not talk to or listen to parents until their son or daughter signs a release form due to the laws guarding privacy of confidential information. Their son or daughter may not be willing to sign such a release form once communication has broken down. Parents can avoid this pitfall by asking their son or daughter to sign a release form when things are calm and as soon as they begin treatment with a new provider or agency.
What are parents to do?
1) MAKE SELF-CARE IMPORTANT AGAIN:
This experience can be exhausting, traumatic and grief-strickening. Most parents know that good sleep, nutrition and relaxation are critical, but often self-care is compromised by stress so parents need to force themselves to remember self-care. Relatives and friends often don’t understand, so information and support from family support groups can mean the difference between staying healthy and/or developing mental and physical symptoms from the stress and isolation.
2) CREATE A LOW-STRESS ATMOSPHERE:
People with certain mental illnesses like schizophrenia and mood disorders tend to do better when they are in calm, predictable environments where people use simple communication, show warmth and support, and remain available without being intrusive. Self-care, family support groups and family workshops can help parents feel calm and supported enough to create this kind of environment. About two thirds of adults with mental illness refuse treatment and almost half of people with certain mental illnesses like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder lack awareness of their incapacities or symptoms. Many people with personality disorders also lack awareness of their role in their interpersonal problems. When parents urge their son or daughter with no awareness to seek help, they are often met with accusations, anger and resistance. There are workshops and books available for helping a son or daughter with anosognosia or personality disorders to agree to treatment.
3) LOCATE RESOURCES:
Call the Training and Education Center at 215-751-1800 x233 or 232 or the PsychoEducational Program at 215-742-7816 for information, support, family groups/workshops and referral to other resources.
Learning more about what your son or daughter is experiencing and getting emotional support can help replace anger and frustration with empathy and effectiveness.
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This page was updated on July 12, 2007